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Cant decide!!!

I have decided that buying baby bedding is an unfair and crappy process. I have looked on every site there is I think. Browsed many a catalog. I know what I want...but I cant find it. I want greens, browns and neutral colors in a modern mix of stripes and shapes. I want modern and something good for a boy of girl.
This below is almost perfect but its not quite right.There are so many decisions its making my brain hurt. This is the first thing I am buying! I cant even decide on it. ARRG. When Tessa was born my ex mil made her a very sweet Winnie the pooh crib set. Levi's was baby snoopy. I decided for this baby I dont want characters or animals. the only thing I do know is I want shades of green and modern design.

I am starting to think of just making my own. My best friend and I are going fabric shopping this weekend. Maybe..just maybe I will find what I want.

Just realized I will slowly slip back into hell....

When my daughter was born I was thrust into a world of Nick Jr, Disney and PBS. Tessa was obsessed with two things. Blues Clues... she LOVED Steve. She would crawl to the entertainment center, pull her self up and stare up at him like he was Jesus. She would touch his face and clap in excitement when he would ask a question. Nothing made her day as much as Steve showing up. I remember at one point having a disturbing conversation on a play date about how the more you watch Steve..the sexier he gets. There were housewives all over pushing their wee ones out of the way so they could stare at Steve....eww.

Besides Steve's daily visit there was also Bear in the Big Blue house. Tessa would crawl to her bouncy chair and sit and dance and clap the entire show. She loved it and I actually grew to love the show too. For her first birthday she got a talking Bear, and she wouldn't let anyone come near it. She was like a Pitt bull with a bone..it was hers...no one was to touch it. We still have him..he is in a toy box somewhere.
Those were Tessa's obsessions. I didn't let her watch much else. Sesame street annoyed me. I wanted to strangle Dora..OH MY GOD I HATE THAT SHOW!!! I personally think parents get stupider when they watch it...I am sorry, just my opinion..oh I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.
Barney was a definite no as well as Teletubbies or any other lame show I thought wasn't needed.

When Levi came he didn't really watch many kids shows. He loved the wiggles. He would sit in his saucer and dance and bounce and giggle. However he never really got involved in the tv sitter, instead he just wanted to be with you. He didn't care what you were doing as long as he had you in a line of sight. He would sit in his highchair, swing, bouncer and play and babble.

So with another baby I realized that I will have to venture into the kid tv world again. Tess and Levi really don't watch Tv, they have a few shows they like, and movies they like, but thats about the extent. They would rather read or play with their friends.

I haven't payed much attention to kids shows. I do think wonder pets is awesome. And Yo GabaGaba is..strange, but most that I have caught a glimpse of make me want to take out my brain through my nose with a potato peeler. Maybe we just wont use the TV at all this time around....its not like its on much anyway.

Moving along

We had a very very busy weekend. Tess and Levi returned, my husband and our friend replaced my breaks, we finished school shopping and are trying to get back into a routine.
I am feeling pretty good. I haven't had any morning sickness this last week though I am still exhausted by 4pm every day. Of course right as I start feeling better, I was hit today at work with a killer headache and stomach aches. I seem to have picked up a stomach virus. I spent most of the evening in the bathroom and am running a low fever. Hopefully all will be fine in the morning.

I got our statement plan from the women s care practice that is handling my pre natal and birth. I remember when I had Levi seeing the original bill and a large price tag of almost $18,000. I had military insurance at the time and didn't pay anywhere near that. I was concerned with our health plan and how much they would cover. I was very happy when I saw they had outlined a payment plan so we would be completely paid by delivery. I was also very happy to see that our cost will only be around $500. Seems "alternative birth methods" are much cheaper then a "hospital birth".

Next Wednesday we tour the birthing center. The week after I have my next appoinment. It seems time is flying by too quickly. I still have so much to do and so much to buy! Thats the fun part right??

Please..Please..Please!!!!!

Please, to my family watch this video, yes it is 16 minutes long. Friends, you too, or if you are pregnant or about to be pregnant watch. This is some of the TOP MD doctors and Department of State Health officials, midwifes explaining how midwifery works. Please watch and see how medical intervention does nothing but harm.

Reducing Infant Mortality from Debby Takikawa on Vimeo.

Baby Brain.....

I have had baby brain like you would not believe. Everything from missing exits on my way to or from work, leaving my cell at home, forgetting my lunch, paying bills from wrong accounts, leaving items in the frige that don't go there,forgetting about laundry, to almost leaving the house in my pajamas. Needless to say my friends and husband have had a few laughs in the last few weeks.

Projects have gone undone. My photography has been pushed to the side. My camera sits in its bag untouched..I am just too tired. I forget to return emails and calls. I have put off my blog design and etsy shop. I just dont have the energy. I hope that changes soon.

The scary part is supposedly according to some studies a womens brain shrinks 3-5% during pregnancy...oh dear...what was I blogging about again?

Where do my taxes go???

Sooo tonight my husband and I headed to Wally World to do some shopping. Tess and Levi are on their way home as we speak from vacation in Texas...and we haven't cooked a meal since they left in July...sad...so sad.
While there I also toted along their insane school supply lists..well not really insane just stupid in my opinion. In Virginia we pay a CRAP load of taxes, plus the state constantly brags about how our lottery profits help our public schools...so lets see..

Levi (1st Grade)
4-10 packs of pencils (Ummm when I was little we only needed 1)
1 box crayons
1 pair blunt scissors
4 bottels of White Glue (Why do the they need 4 bottles + 4 glue sticks????)
Pencil Box
2 boxes of tissue per semester (Really thats 8 boxes of tissue....seriously)
2 plastic folders with prongs
4 comp note books
4 glue sticks
4 dry erase markers

Tessa (4th Grade..wth did that happen??)
1 ruler
1 box colored pencils
1 box crayons
1 pair scissors
8 Glue Sticks (that's a lot of glue sticks)
2 packs of Pencils
6 Notebooks
2 Comp Books
2 packs Loose Leaf Paper
2 sets of highlighters
2 boxes of tissue
Pencil Box

Now while these are not anywhere as crazy as LAST years school supply list. It really annoys me that not only do I pay for my children s lunches, I pay taxes, but the school cant even supply tissues?????? It also annoys the crap out of me that they just take everything and dump in in bins, really annoys me. I bought it, I want MY child to use it.

So all that including 2 lunch boxes, two insulated soup containers and two sandwhich containers
set me back 70 some bucks. Insane to me it seems.

I am excited for them to get home..they have been gone since July 28th. Our house has been clean...and way way too quiet.

I am not sure how my energy will keep up since I have been having to nap every day for at least an hour when I get home. I am also watching my daughters best friend and neighbor every morning and after school.

The fun part is that Levi doesn't know he will be a big brother yet. I am trying to think of a neat way to tell him. Tessa knows, and she is excited. So are we...

Why

So in the last few weeks I have shared with people, family and friends that I...
A. Plan to do a un medicated birth
B. With a Midwife
C. In a Birthing Center

For some reason instead of support I get looks of fear, long lectures, and even that I am ahemm..too old.

Well lets see..

Emotional advantages:

The emotional advantages of having a natural childbirth can be huge. Natural childbirth is almost always an empowering experience for women. Many mothers who go through natural childbirth note how powerful they feel, how strong, and how they feel prepared to take on anything, including baby care.

Some mothers who aren’t able to have a natural childbirth feel guilty about it or weak. That’s not true: any mother who gives birth is strong, no matter the situation, but it doesn’t mean that feeling won’t come up. There is also research that shows that a newborn and mother on pain medication during birth may have trouble bonding right away, which can be stressful.

Advantages of skipping labor induction:

• Freedom of movement: Mothers who receive labor induction also receive constant fetal/mother monitoring and IVs, and lose much of their freedom of movement. Movement is one very important aspect of pain relief in a natural birth and can speed up labor. The mother confined to her bed loses these benefits.

• Normal labor pain: Although it seems contradictory, one of the major advantages of natural childbirth is less pain. For example, there is normal labor pain and then there is induced labor pain. If you talk to mothers who have had both a natural labor and an induced labor, you’d hear most of them say that induced labor pain is far worse than natural labor pain.

• Cesarean avoidance: Mothers who avoid medically inducing labor are more likely to give birth vaginally. This means no major surgery, no cesarean scar, no pain surrounding the cesarean, and a shorter after-birth recovery period. It’s been shown that 50-75 percent of women who receive an induction will end up with a cesarean birth.

Keep in mind that babies exposed to labor induction also have to deal with harder contractions, possible complications, and the risk of a cesarean birth. Health wise, it’s usually better for babies to be born vaginally because it better stimulates their breathing process. Additionally there are natural induction of labor techniques a woman can try before deciding on an induction.

Advantages of skipping medication pain relief:

There are plenty of pain medications that a mother can take during labor and childbirth from epidurals to narcotics, and more. Most have the advantage of pain relief but come with a slew of possible side effects and no labor drugs have been proven 100 percent safe for babies. Often, basic pain medications end up not working so the drugs are now in a mother and baby’s system without cause.

Freedom from labor drugs means the mother and baby are able to be more present during the labor and birth. Medication can make a woman so drowsy or out of it that she may miss big parts of her baby’s arrival. A newborn can be groggy as well due to medications.

Without labor medication, there’s less risk of c-sections (cesarean sections). Like induction and other labor interventions, pain medication also puts a mother more at risk for a caesarean.

Pain medications have some icky side effects like nausea, vomiting, drowsiness, confusion, dizziness, and more. Plus keep in mind that all medications used during labor and childbirth cross the placenta and affect your baby’s health as well. In the case of an epidural, the side effects are even scarier. Epidurals can result in major blood pressure drops, fever, detachment from reality, full body itching, lumbar puncture resulting in a spinal headache that can last weeks, and more.

Lastly, another one of the big advantages of natural childbirth is that non-groggy mothers and babies have an easier time getting started with proper breastfeeding.

My main reasons are..

I want to do it..simply put.

I want to feel the rush that comes after naturally birthing a baby

I do not want an epidural. I still have intense back pain from the previous two I had

I also had months of breaking out in hives due to medication after having both previous children

I do not want an induction, with chemicals or any other way.

I very much want a water birth.

Am I scared..sure! Its pain! Its supposed to hurt! Am I worried? No its not like a women from a third world country with tuberculosis is birthing this baby. Its a women with over 20 years of being a midwife in a birthing center INSIDE a HOSPITAL.

Why do people insist on drug use for birth so much? Our infant mortality rates are insane for the US. The last thing I want is surgery, or pitocin.

So stop looking at me like I have two heads, because I don't.

1st Appoinment today

We were at the doctors office all day. Our midwife is a women in her 50's, cute, spunky and thank god someone who "gets" my husbands strange sense of humor. We started off with all the normal questions, family history and what not. Moved onto our exam and then we had our ultrasound. Its so tiny!!! Come to find out I have a a dermoid cyst on my left ovary that will have to removed once I stop breast feeding. Ewww
My midwife was very happy that I am going to birth in the midwifery center, the areas only birth center, with a low medical intervention birth plan. I was also impressed that over the 4 hours we were there the bottle/formula discussion was not even brought up. Breast feeding was the expected norm here and that made me happy.
I ended up leaving the office with a list of new meds. Whole Food Multivitamin, Higher does of Folic Acid, Fish Oil *(gag)* and a different Vitamin D supplement then the one I am on. All are digested easier which makes me happy.
It was a fun day and there is nothing like seeing your little baby on a screen.

Missing Parts...

When I was pregnant with my son, I lost my best friend, my mother at 5 1/2 months. She knew it was a boy, but she never got to hold him, touch him, sing to him, cuddle him, or all the other things she looked forward too. She loved her grand daughter and did everything she could to make sure she was happy. Her grand children were her life.

Here I am 6 years later. Two children and another one on the way. I look at my wonderful husband she never met and I know they would have sat and laughed for hours. Their sense of humor is very alike.

I am blessed with a step mother but anyone that has lost a parent knows it is not the same. I think about this baby to be. A baby I never thought I would have 2 years ago. I look at how happy I am..a happiness I didn't know 2 years ago. So much has changed since my mother left this world, evolved, grown, deepened.

I brought these feelings up to my friend Jen the other day and had to stop. I am emotional enough without crying on everyone. I always was told that time heals all things. I am starting to think time does the opposite. It makes me angry.

I can't remember her laugh or her voice anymore. There are plenty of things I remember and the loss of those two really bother me. I always think in my head "what would mom say" and her voice would echo in my mind with some seed of wisdom. Now it's like seeing a line of text or script. There is no sweet sound to go with it.

I always wait for her to come to me in my dreams. She always said she would but she hasn't. I wish I had her to call daily like old times. Maybe one day I will see her again and she will get to hug and kiss her new grand babies..its all I can hope for.

Uhhh.....ohhh......make it stop

If you have been reading my prego blog then you know I have said I havent had much morning sickness. That changed Friday.....
Since Friday I have not only been constipated as hell which leaves me with a very gross "full" feeling, but I have felt like barfing from morning until..the next morning. I am miserable to say the least.
Seriously..I have not thrown up..but at this point I think gagging myself with a spoon would give me some relief. I have always had this type of morning sickness but I am guessing its a pretty close feeling to motion sickness. . I slept a lot this weekend. I overslept and put some friends out on accident. I think its all good however I cannot stay awake, and I liked sleeping this weekend simple because when I was asleep I didn't feel like I was going to barf.
I also had some crazy cravings this weekend. From pickles to Half Baked Icecream to strawberry cream cheese and salasa and hashbrowns.
I am so over feeling icky. I am so over being tired. I don't know how I am going to survive work this week. These things are making it impossible to concentrate.
I have my first midwife appointment Tuesday. For now I am off to curl up in a dark room, with the AC cranked up and cold air blowing on me.

Why the economy annoys me... Not prego related

I am a little ticked off right now. I WISH the economy wasn't in such a crappy place as I have had an opportunity to buy my own established sign and graphic design shop dropped in my lap..... but it is a chunk of money..it is a risk and I dont know if it is one I am willing to take at this time seeing how I am not assured that companies and business's will still spend money on advertising. While owning this type of business is usually pretty resession proof, there are quite a few shops here. I still do not know if I will dive in..it is a very large decision. I have a few weeks to consider it, and I really don't know what to do.
The shop I am working at is still recovering from last year. My boss had to lay off myself and our other part time person. I am still only at work about 20 hours a week.
The other oppurtunity I have is to invest less then half the amount of the full shop and instead become a partner in a friends already established shop. Not a bad idea really. I have a lot to consider and it is so scary in these times. Some people say..it's the perfect time to get into business, while others think it is insane.
Either option gives me flexability with my other two children and the chance to take my baby to work with me daily. Sigh...ppphhhh what to do.....

I have no idea what will happen but I am capped out in salary for the area I live in. I would love to have extra income..but what if I fail? That is pretty scary...

Arrg

While I am so happy to be prego I realized today that I got prego right as I was 10lbs from my goal weight. Yes I could have gone down more but I think it would have been too much. I remember June of 08 I stepped on a scale and it screamed 165 at me. OMG thats huge for a 5 foot one me. Since then through pretty much diet alone, we did go to the gym for 2 months 3 days a week . We had to stop at one point and havent been back. I went from 165 to 142. While yes that is only 23lbs. I think it is pretty signifigant. I didnt want to loose weight fast. I tried to be active and watched portion size and fat content.

So my neighbor is also pregnant, she is only a few weeks from delivery and she told me today she hit 225lb at the ob. This women was 145lbs before she got prego. I do not..want to have to loose a ton of weight after this baby. So far I have gained around 6 lbs. I am watching what and when I eat. The only downside being I have to have a snack right before I go to sleep because that is when I take my prenatal, otherwise if I take it in the morning it comes right back up.

I had planned on walking but the first trimester is not easy. I am dizzy and tired, and drained. While I start the day saying..I am going to walk today...after work is done I barley have the energy to drive home.

I am hoping at my next appointment I can enroll i the pregnancy yoga class my midwife offers. I want to get back on the loosing weight the right way when the baby is here, but I do not want to lay around for 7 more months. I do give into cravings now and them simply because they come roaring in so fast I might have to eat your face if I dont get some strawberry icecream, or oreos. Horrible but if you have been pregnant you know what I mean...mmm...icecream

Can I have it back??

I gave up something last night. I just couldnt do it anymore...how will I survive the rest of this pregnancy? I had to give up this.....


So maybe you dont think its a big deal but is for me. Not get into the personal TMI but one reason I love sleeping on my tummy is because I am rather large in the breast department. Ask our friends, they love making a game out of scoring goals with things such as pennies and paper clips in my cleavage when I am not looking. 38D, actually probably larger since becoming prego.
Therefore..I find it REALLY hard to sleep on my back, I feel like there is a 20 lb creature sitting on my chest and I cant breath. So I only sleep on my belly and my sides, but not really on my side I always am tummy to the bed. Like I get enough sleep as it is.....sigh

I remember with kid A and kid B, once I got the point where I had to give up tummy time I was not a happy person. Towards the end I had to sleep sitting up with 4 pillows behind me and a humidifer blowing in my face.

Last night I tried to ignore it and sleep however it was like sleeping with a grapefruit under me. I tossed and turned all night. I want to cry..I like my sleep.

I have also turned into a pubesent 12 year old it seems. My skin is usually pretty clear and now i am starting to look like that gross kid in school. My face is breaking out so bad. I have also finally contracted the dreaded stuffiness/head cold that goes along with pregnancy. I want to strangle women who wear purfume because it makes me either want to throw up, or sends me into a sneezing frenzie.

Dont get me wrong, I am bless to be with said child. I am so happy to be with child....but I do not like being pregnant. I am not a "glower". Instead I slowly morph into a walking disaster..I wish I was one of those women..but I am not. So if I am a little grumpy, please forgive me.

Why

Why is it yesterday I came home from work and took an hour nap, went to bed at 8:30, got up at 9 am, and I am still barley able to keep my eyes open?
Will the first trimester ever end? Really? I can tell you that 4 weeks seems a very very long way away.

Yesterday we headed to the mall, somewhere I never go, to do some crib hunting. We did find one we really liked at Sears, however we are planning on hitting Burlington Coat Factory to check them out also.

It amazes me to see how much baby products have changed in the last 6 years since having my son. I almost jumped for joy when I found a brand of organic baby food I thought I could only find online. Oh or the fact that Babies R Us has an ENTIRE isle dedicated to Organic Baby food, finger foods, juice, formula and diapers.

I am feeling ok. I really with the fatigue part would pass. My only other issue is that everything tastes funny. I have been taking my prenatal right before I go to sleep and that has been keeping the nausea down.

The other two children we raise are still on vacation with their daddy in Texas. They come back next week some time. We have missed them, and I dont think we have cooked in our house since they left...

How to fix this???

This is a horrible photo of me at 7 weeks. Crappy photo cause I didn't use a flash and took it myself. Enlarge to see my lovely comments.

Then we have the baby to be room. Our previous office. We sort of forgot the ugliness was there since our office had so much stuff in it. I seriously have no idea what the idiot last owners were thinking. They have never repainted the house, hence the gross walls. We will fix when I know if its a boy or a girl. One wall looks like they tore it up and did a 1/2 ass job of fixing it.
The bad part is all of our walls downstairs are plaster. Upstairs is drywall. Meaning...I have no idea how to fix the mess they left.


The other walls are ok. They have some unevenness to them from patch work. I am not sure if we can afford to remodel the entire room. Taking down plaster is a mess, that's all I know.

Here is my cheap fix. With the help of our friend's tools..... Remove only the bad part and put in a built in bookcase. Only issue...I have no idea how deep behind the plaster is...could end up meaning we have to tear down all the plaster and put up sheet rock. Uggggg.
I have a feeling this is what we will try.

Any other suggestions???

The Plan

You better believe this ocd mom has a "plan" and some other things shes working on.

The plan will be carried out in stages or steps. The plan goes into action..dah du dunnn..this weekend.

First the nursery, then my birth plan, then you know when that baby comes screaming and being demanded into our world....

The Nursery

The nursery is currently our office. It houses two computer desks, a large book shelf, 2 computers a giant printer and our dog's cage. This weekend we will be doing a head to toe cleaning of the house as we gather crap for our upcoming yard sale I have been trying to do all summer.
Once the cleaning and purging is done the office will be moved into our dining room. We will then be pulling up the carpet in the room (praying the wood floors are still in nice condition unlike all the other floors we found under our carpet).
I am going to go for a natural, organic nature theme. If it's a girl it will be light greens, browns, pinks and blues. If its a boy it will be blues, greens and browns. I plan on striping one wall with those colors. We have already picked out the crib and changing table, all for under $400 from Wally world. Target had some beautiful cribs but they were really pricey. This one looks just like the $500 dollar crib I found.
Work
I am one of those lucky moms who..works. Right now I work 9:30-2:30 and my pregnancy has not affected my job. I am tired and feel icky but I have no problem working. I am not sure what will be happening as I am thinking of becoming a partner in a business, so I dont know what will happen then. I plan on working up until delivery day, at least I hope I can.

Birthing a baby

I am not able to do what I want..which is a home birth. Our insurance does not cover it and I would have to pay an OB and the midwife. So I am doing the next best thing. A very nice birth center with jacuzzi tubs, nice large beds and a home environment. I plan on attempting to do this birth naturally...wish...me...luck.
I am hoping to labor at home as much as possible.

Baby Care
I am planning to Breast Feed. I breast fed both my two and it was a wonderful experience. It's also cheaper. I am debating on letting this child get all vaccinations. There are few I may decline due to side effects and risks.
One thing I plan on doing with this baby is baby wearing. I didn't do it with the last two because I never found a good sling. I love the idea, especially being as I will be breast feeding.

I also plan to make my own baby food. With my first she pretty much consumed anything out a jar. With my son he had some jar baby food and I made some.
I am hoping to provide almost all homemade baby food this time around.

Thats how far my plan goes so far. We have a ton of things to do to the house and I am afraid they wont get done. We NEED new flooring soon, they are so gross. Wish me luck, I am going to need it.

Poor Poor State Trooper

So what do you get when you have a emotional pregnant women, who is late for a doctors appointment, is mad at her hubby and doesn't know why, tired, and sick and have a state trooper pull her over?? Drama

I am normally not a crier..especially in front of other people. According to some I am "cold and bitchy" however I just feel that emotion is a form of weakness. Its how I was raised, I can't help it.

So when I start sobbing uncontrollably in front of a stranger and my husband....I am to say the least..humiliated.

What happened?

About a month ago my safety inspection was up on my car. When we went to re do it they denied me saying I needed new brake pads, new wipers and a new tail light. Well seeing how my husband's disability had not gone through I drove around a month with a rejection sticker on my car. We only have one car..I drove careful...blah blah. This week planned on doing all the work and heading back to the garage to get our new "approved sticker".

So I am driving to my doctors appointment feeling like I want to puke while my hubby and I talk. A State Police Car pulls in front of me...few minutes later he pulls to the median, then...there go the lights.

So he pulls me over and to make things worse I cant find my paper work. I finally track it all down and hand it too him in a wad. While the whole time he is talking to me like I am an ignorant women even when I explained our situation and that we would repair it that day.

For some reason me being emotionally with child...the officers tone really got to me. I felt like a 5 year old being scolded, it was humiliating and the next thing I new I felt a large lump, my vision blurred and tears started to flow.....a lot. I am talking the crying jag where if one word comes out of your mouth you will start hyperventilating as you cry and sound like a 4 year old who is in as much trouble as he ever will be.

I looked at my husband who up until to day I don't think ever saw me cry, and the officer who has that look like..."Oh..shes pulling the crying card". My poor husband explained that I was pregnant.

I sat there unable to control this huge wave of emotion, finally the officer came back told me to fix it and handed me a yellow sheet. The man was supposed to make us tow our car and get a ride since it had no sticker. We...got...off...easy. As we speak my hubby is at home repairing the car..THANK GOD.

So we tell the officer thank you, and I continue to sit there crying and I can't stop. My husband switches so he can drive and we head to the doctors. The whole damn way I could not stop crying, it was the most strange experience of my life. Nothing like crazy prego hormones to send you too the looney bin.

The worst part was showing up to the doctors with that red, swollen I just bawled my eyes out look going on. However no one asked what was wrong...and I am glad they didn't. I probably would have started sobbing all over again and they would never be polite to a stranger again.

7 weeks

A little Different...WIN SOMETHING

I wanted to share the give away I am doing on my design blog. You could win these, two sheets of personalized labels for your child's back to school supplies. Pick boy, girl or both!!!
Visit to enter below!

Hummm

So lets see..Friday I ran my car into a telephone pole...oops. I honestly dont really know how it happened. I have been really really tired as of late and can not concentrate on anything. I survived, the car survived, I will be going to bed much earlier. I did freak out and called my doc who told me to take it easy.

Saturday we headed up to help my sister move. Being prego and moving...doesn't go well together. I helped pack and move very light things but being on my feet all day plus the three hour drive there and back took it out of me.

I seemed to have developed an unhealthy habit...Wendy's french fries. OMG I seriously can't get enough of them. I am weaning myself as we speak.

I have my appointment with my midwife soon. I cannot wait since I get an ultra sound. Expecially since I dont have a still due date due to crazy cycle history.

I had to buy.....maternity clothes this weekend. I can no longer fit in my pants, well I can but I can't you know...breath. I found some great deals at the thrift store and some baby consienment shops. I do plan on buying some awesome maternity clothes from here when it gets cooler. They have the greatest stuff.

I almost cried today when I looked at my tummy and saw not only the previous stretch marks that had faded long ago reapear and some nice red new ones. I am seriously wondering if I am either farther along then I think or if there is two babies in there.

My morning sickness is not too bad. I think my constant supply of ice, butterscotch candy, mints and gingerale is helping. Its mostly that I am tired. I mean really really tired. If I stand too long I get dizzy so I am guessing I am anemic like I was with the first two.

We have a lot going on at our house right now. My husband has his police department eval soon, so he is gearing up for that. He is also hunting for contract jobs in Iraq should that not pan out. Which would totally suck however my sisters husband does it and has done well. How do I let my soul mate leave for a year??? Sniff

So I really tired so I am off to bed.